Wishing for a stress-free relationship with your in-laws?
Mother-in-laws can have trouble letting go of their sons. Daughter-in-laws can struggle to embrace their husbands’ families. Even in the most perfect marriage, trouble with in-laws can cause many problems in a marriage. Your spouse’s parents may not be your absolute favorite people in the world, but maintaining a healthy relationship with them is essential for the success of your marriage.
It may take a little bending on both sides, but here are our best tips for getting along with your in-laws…
1) Spend more time together – It’s a fact that the more time you have with a person, the more attractive you tend to find that person. Instead of avoiding your in-laws because you don’t get along, spend more time with them – this just might be the root of any problems. If seeing them more often isn’t possible, set aside time to talk to them on the phone or via Skype. Build up the relationship.
2) Be positive – If you focus on the parts of your relationship with your in laws that are positive, the problems might not seem so big. Find ways to be grateful to them, whether it is simply the fact that they are are the parents of your husband/wife or that they are the grandparents of your children – both who love them very much.
3) Be proactive – Do what you can to build the relationship. Find things you both enjoy doing. Find ways to include them in your relationship. The better your relationship is, the easier it with be to set boundaries.
4) Set boundaries – Negotiate with your husband/wife about the role you want your parents to play in your lives. Know when and where the fences need to go up and make sure to talk to both sets of parents and be clear about them.
5) Try to resolve your relationship issues first with your spouse - If the first thing that you do at the onset of a problem with your husband/wife is go to your parents and tell them that you are angry, frustrated or having problems in your relationship, they are only going to see the negative side and naturally develop negative feelings. Remember that your parents only know what you tell them, and we usually don’t say when we’ve made up.